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Peter Anthony's avatar

Thank you, Paul, for sharing both versions of William Chiddicks’ story. I enjoyed reading them both, and I can see the value in each. The first gives a clear, structured account of events and offers a strong factual foundation. But for me, the second version resonated more. It felt more personal and reflective, and I found myself more emotionally drawn into William’s life. I think that tone helps readers feel closer to the subject, as though they are being gently guided through his experiences rather than being presented with a formal record.

Of course, it is a matter of personal preference. This might reflect my own writing preferences. In my own family history work, I try to convey a human tone while also placing individual lives within the broader political, social, and economic context of their time.

Your post also prompted me to reflect on the question of rewriting. I agree with Kirsi’s original point, it can be challenging to know whether to leave earlier writing as a record of how far we have come or to update it to reflect where we are now. I suspect most of us end up doing a bit of both. As others have said, the hybrid approach is a practical and often satisfying middle path. But in this case, I think the rewrite works very well on its own and shows how much you have grown as a storyteller.

Thanks again for inviting readers into the process and into William’s life.

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Jane Chapman's avatar

Interesting question.

As a general comment I would say both are well written (although the addition of footnoted sources would improve the first one) ... Which is best? ... Well it depends on who is reading it and who you are writing for. Is it progression? ... Or is it just about finding your own style? Which do you feel more comfortable writing?

Personally, I prefer version 1. I suppose when it comes to genealogy, I am a bit of a purist. I want to know the facts and where they come from. I don't much care for embellishments. I tend to read for information not entertainment. I occasionally but rarely read fiction. I want to know the facts about someone, where they lived and details of the events surrounding them without surplus descriptive material unless it is coming direct from the subject of the story e.g., via a diary. That's just me. I don't need it storyitised. Is 'storyitising' even a word? If not it should be!

Having said all that, I found your version 2 relatively easy to read. I can't say the same for all pieces of the same type. ... Some have a tendency to stretch the truth and I find myself screaming in my head ... "How do you know that? ... Show me the facts! Where's your source!-?"

So ... I come back to where I started - Which is the best? It depends ... Think about who it is you are writing for and find a style that you are comfortable with that will suit your audience.

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