DNA Kits - What You Need to Know Before You Test
Originally published April 2023, fully updated for 2026 with new insights and personal experience
In recent years, there has been an explosion in DNA testing for genealogical purposes. This post was inspired by a recent article on DNA testing from Leah Larkin , but it has been completely rewritten and updated to include personal experience, ethical considerations, and the evolving landscape of the field. If you’re a family history researcher like me, you’ve probably already taken a DNA test, or at least seriously considered it.
But before you do, ask yourself one question:
Are you fully prepared for what you might discover?
Because once you open that door, there is no closing it again.
The Rise of DNA Testing
The cost of DNA kits has dropped dramatically, making them more accessible than ever. Tens of millions of people have now taken these tests worldwide, with Ancestry leading the pack. They’re especially popular gifts around holidays.
But affordability raises an uncomfortable question:
What is the true cost of what you might uncover?
Could a simple test have consequences that ripple through your entire family?
I speak from personal experience here. I’ve taken both an autosomal DNA test with AncestryDNA and a Y-DNA test with Family Tree DNA. Both opened doors I couldn’t have imagined, one helping me solve a long-standing brick wall in my research, the other revealing a life-changing secret within my own family.
Like many of us, I went into testing armed with the facts, but blinkered, thinking these life-altering discoveries only happen to someone else. I learned, the hard way, that “someone else” can be you.
The Emotional Impact
Alongside this surge in testing, we’ve seen a rise in DNA-based television programmes like DNA Journey and DNA Family Secrets. These shows focus on emotional reunions and long-lost connections, uplifting, moving stories that tug at the heartstrings.
But TV only tells part of the story. What we don’t see are the quieter, more difficult outcomes:
Families fractured by unexpected truths
Identities called into question
Long-held secrets exposed overnight
These stories exist, they just don’t make for compelling television. And when you experience them firsthand, as I have, the emotional impact can be profound.
Secrets, Guilt, and Responsibility
Every family has secrets. Genealogical research, and especially DNA testing, can uncover them in ways traditional research cannot. Once the truth is out, there is no putting it back.
This raises a question that is rarely discussed:
What do you do with that knowledge?
The burden often falls on one person, the “secret-keeper.” That person faces an almost unbearable dilemma:
Do you tell family members, risking heartbreak and fractured relationships?
Or do you stay silent, carrying the guilt alone?
Either choice can have long-term consequences. Revealing the truth may cause family rifts; concealing it may destroy trust if it eventually emerges.
For the secret-keeper, the guilt can be consuming. You may feel responsible for protecting loved ones, yet powerless to control the outcomes. The psychological toll is real: stress, anxiety, feelings of isolation, even despair.
It’s something every prospective DNA tester should consider before taking a test. And yet, it is rarely addressed by the testing companies themselves.
Privacy, Ethics, and Company Responsibility
Privacy concerns have rightly dominated discussions around DNA testing:
How long is your data stored?
Who can access it, from law enforcement to third-party researchers?
Could it be breached?
These are crucial questions, but the emotional and ethical consequences are often overlooked.
Companies like AncestryDNA do provide a warning during test activation. But by that stage, you’ve already purchased the kit and invested emotionally. Perhaps it’s too late.
With tens of millions of tests sold and the industry’s financial success, one has to ask: should there be a more prominent, earlier warning about both privacy and the potential life-changing revelations that a DNA test can uncover?
Before You Test: A Checklist
If you are considering a DNA test, take a moment to reflect. Ask yourself:
Am I prepared for unexpected parentage, unknown siblings, or other family surprises?
Have I discussed testing with close family who may also be affected?
Am I comfortable with my genetic data being stored and potentially shared indefinitely?
Do I have a support network in place, friends, family, or professional counselling, if unexpected discoveries surface?
Taking these steps doesn’t make you paranoid; it makes you prepared.
The Benefits of DNA Testing
This isn’t a warning against DNA testing. The benefits are real:
Breaking through genealogical brick walls
Reuniting long-lost family members
Understanding cultural or ancestral heritage
Potential medical insights (with careful consideration and guidance)
When used responsibly, DNA tests are powerful tools, but they come with responsibilities and risks that every tester must acknowledge.
Final Thoughts
DNA testing doesn’t just reveal where you come from. It can reshape who you are, your relationships, and your family’s story.
Take the test thoughtfully. Prepare for both discovery and disruption. And above all, remember:
You might be “that someone else” — the person whose life changes forever with one simple kit.
Be ready for the journey, because once you take a DNA test, there’s no going back.
This post is part of an ongoing reflection on family history, memory, and ethical responsibility in genealogy.
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I spend a lot of time researching and sharing these family connections, so if this post helped you uncover part of your family story, you can support my ongoing research here:
The conversation I have with folks includes a reminder that the end result of their curiosity can and often does directly impact others - known and unknown - in unexpected and even unwelcome ways.
And altho it’s six year old by now, and much has changed, I usually encourage them to read Libby Copeland’s “The Lost Family: How DNA Testing Is Upending Who We Are” before they buy a kit.
This is a thoughtful and well organized treatise on the topic of DNA testing, Paul. Yet it is in some ways irrelevant to the need for some of us to know certain things with certainty. Or at least as certain as DNA testing can be. But that's a whole 'nother topic.